Hard Times
by Molz
Summary: The beast controls him once again...Oneshot


Hard Times

It was a dark narrow street, lit only with torches, giving off a small amount of light. The buildings were made of bricks or wood. The air was reeking of human waste; enhanced from the rain they had a couple of day's prior. Even in the night air it was humid and hot. No one knew of the predators lurking around at night. No one knew they were the prey…

Blood. The sweet aroma came to my nose as I walked home. I longed for a taste. I wanted _needed_ a small taste. But I tried so hard to get off human blood. I had come this far. I could go longer. I was turned two hundred years ago and for the last fifty years I have been living off of animal blood.

Living on animal blood was hard to do. It tasted awful and it didn't last as long if you drank from humans. Every vampire had a beast in them, wanting to come out and drain every human it came across. Drinking animal blood tamed the animal, but it was still there. When you drank from the mortals the beast could talk to you, making you have more and more until the human was gone from the living. So it surprised me when it talked.

"Hello Esmour," it drawled, "we meet again."

"What is going on? You can not talk to me unless I have had blood from a human." I stated, panicking.

"Oh Esmour, you have a lot to learn," it chuckled sadistically, "You can't get rid of me that easily. Now go on taste it."

"No!" A part of me didn't want to take an innocent humans life, but the other part wanted to give in to it. The latter was winning.

It sighed. "Why must you be so difficult? You give me no choice, Esmour. You need this blood. If you don't drink this blood and keep living on animals then you will die. That is the only way a vampire can die."

I was panicking. I didn't want to give in to it, but the blood smelled so sweet. I missed the feeling of slipping my fangs into a soft, tender neck. The fear in their eyes before they died was salivating. My breathing, which was unneeded, picked up, going out in short pants. My eyes changed to a charcoal color, signifying I was thirsty for the tangy blood from around the corner.

An invisible force pushed me to her in an inhuman way. When I was in front of her I could hear her heart beat faster and faster as I advanced to her. The blood was better that way – warmer. She was scared. Heck, I was scared because I couldn't stop from feeding on her. Without another thought I leaned down and sunk my teeth in to her neck.

Oh gosh! The blood was so sweet and warm. It sizzled on my tongue. I swallowed. I was in pure bliss**. **Not in a sexual way, but in a way that she tasted so good that I couldn't get enough. I drained her slowly, taking her life with me. I looked around to check if anyone saw what had happened. We had one rule. No one could know anything about the super naturals. I dropped the corpse on the sidewalk and fled.

I was petrified. Scared of turning into the animal I was fifty years ago. During that time people were dying from "influenza". It wasn't influenza. It was me. I killed a lot of people back then. Being that animal was thrilling and you were always full, but one day I looked in the mirror and I wasn't the same person. Of course I am still a muscular, ebony-skinned with shoulder length brown hair, but then I was a hunger-crazed vampire. Before I was turned I was gentle with a wife, daughter, and another baby on the way. Back fifty years ago I wasn't gentle. I was sadistic never wanting to give up what I wanted – _needed_ – most. I was scared that I would turn into that again and the beast would control me. I walked home to where I found myself looking into the eyes of my long time friend. He was sitting on my couch, sipping on some brandy. We could still drink alcohol, but we never got drunk.

Raffe was turned a century before I was by the same sire. He had told me he was married and had ten children. Raffe had long black hair tied into a low ponytail. He was a head taller than me and was just as muscular as I was.

"Raffe Warde. I haven't seen you for 150 years." I said as I sat down in the lounge chair across from him.

"Yes, it's been a long time. I saw what happened tonight." He said. "You let the beast control you.

Ashamed, I looked down, "I feel so disappointed in myself. I've gone 50 years without having a taste of human blood. I don't want to turn into that animal I was back then. It was sick and the humans can't lose many more people with the plague going on. I tried so hard to keep the animal at bay."

Raffe came over and kneeled in front of me.

"Hey now. Esmour look at me." I looked at the floor and he put two fingers under my chin. "Esmour look at me. You are not a monster. I am here for you. If you turn into that god awful monster again," I winced, "I will help you out of it like I did the first time." He was right. He found me fifty years ago and put me into a room of vervain – a herb that can burn vampires and if ingested is poisonous – to calm the beast. It weakened me and I was in there for five days and when he let me out I was so weak he had to carry me. Tonight was the first time I slipped.

"We'll get through this - the both of us. I won't leave you alone with this." Raffe continued.

"Okay, thank you Raffe. Just please don't leave me."

"Never. We will get through this together." Raffe promised me. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up from the lounge chair. He gave me a comforting hug. We fell asleep together, wrapped in each other's arms. We weren't lovers. He was only there to hold me and to make me feel safe and protected. He was like a big brother to me.

The next few years were spent with Raffe helping Esmour through his blood lust. Raffe had helped him when he slipped. Raffe was always there for him. Esmour didn't leave his manor for those three years. The beast never controlled him again.

You're never alone, I'm always near,

When your troubled, down or blue.

All you have to do is call me,

I'm always here for you.

When you are sad,

And you feel you can't go on.

Tears well in your eyes

And the pain is so strong.

It doesn't matter where I'm at,

It doesn't matter when.

When you need someone to talk to,

I'm here to be your friend.

So far from your friends,

And you're all on your own.

No one to run to,

So very alone.

You're never alone, I'm always here,

Through the good times and the bad.

I'm always here to be your friend,

I don't like to see you sad.

Remember . . . .

I'm Always here for you . . . - Vinod Wallimbe

**A/N Okay, I re-edited it. Only a one-shot…**


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